Monday, December 31, 2012

Maturity and Forgiveness



            The story of Joseph is remarkable on several fronts, not the least of which is Joseph’s magnanimity towards his brothers and the sense of peace that Joseph developed after his years of struggle.
            Today’s reading begins with Joseph overcome with emotion and eager to reveal himself to his brothers.  His previous reluctance to trust his brothers until they had produced Benjamin and demonstrated their concern for their father and their repentance is more understandable.  When people hurt us, we want them to prove themselves, too.  Very often, though, our broken relationships end just short of full reconciliation.  We move closer to one another; we might demand and even get some sense of repentance out of the one who hurt us; but it is really hard to embrace that person fully again.  “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me,” seems to be our motto.  Yet, Joseph is not like his father, who was ‘reconciled’ to his brother Esau and promptly settled down someplace else, far from Esau (Genesis 33:16-17).  He wants his brothers taken care of and near.
            I think many of us could wish for such an attitude, such an ability to forgive.  Joseph developed that attitude over the course of some 20 years, and over those years he had had a chance to grow in wisdom.  That wisdom—one of the other remarkable parts of this story—was that he had had a chance to look back over his life and see the ways that the Lord had been directing him and grooming him and preparing him for the moment when he would be the one who would rescue his family from jeopardy.  Again, that wisdom seems to be a rare gift and very often we might find ourselves wishing that we could make sense of our lives.  Of course, again, Joseph only understood these things in hindsight.  I doubt he was feeling very optimistic as he was walking down to Egypt the first time or as he was languishing in prison.  But looking back, he could see the Lord developing in him the skills and attitudes necessary for his current position.
            It seems to me that these two things—the wisdom to see what the Lord is up to and the ability to forgive—go hand in hand.  The insight that God had worked all things out for the good of the whole family surely made it easier to forgive his brothers and the reconciliation with his brothers capped the sense of purpose that Joseph felt.  That’s the case for us, too.  Our ability to forgive those who have hurt us is coupled with our maturing ability to discern how good may have come out of evil.  Sometimes that good is simply the realization that pain and hurt have made us more sensitive to the pain we have caused others and the determination not to cause it in the future.  When we absolutely refuse to grow through pain and hurt, forgiveness remains a challenge to grant.  And conversely, refusing to contemplate forgiveness hinders our ability to grow into maturity.
            Would that the Lord would bless each of us as he blessed Joseph.  Not with power and enormous influence, but with the wisdom to see his hand guiding and shaping us in the difficult periods of life and with the ability to let go of old hurts!

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